Lima Beans: aka Butter Beans

The last couple of weeks have been pretty decisive.  I have engaged in some keen discussions and deep reflection on the pros and cons of changing habitat.  Whichever way I see it, the arguments in favor of moving are overwhelmingly strong, both from a rational as well as an emotional perspective.

I have settled into the decision in easy stages.  There was a brief phase of discomfort, after taking a kind of precursor decision (not the big one) that committed me irreversibly to this new course of action.  It serves me right to appreciate the psychology of even the most compelling change, having philosophized about change management for so long.

There comes a point where you need to hit the refresh button on Explorer, and this seems to be the time for me.  I have opted for a kind of change that should hopefully force a significant level of renewal and regeneration, both in terms of what I need to absorb and adapt to, as well as what I need to deliver.  Years of getting results in the same environment allow you to camouflage your weaker points – as you learn to play to your strengths alone, relying on the halo effect to mask your deficits.  But you have to check in your historical foils when you enter a new environment.  You have to be a total package – balanced, well-rounded and coherent.  This obviously calls for taking stock of the full compass of your leadership style – articulating, confronting and dealing with the areas that have fallen into desuetude.

This change also feels right for the long term.  It gives me an intuitive sense of orienting towards a bigger agenda, although I would be hard put to it if asked to describe what that agenda is.  I think I know what it is about, and what it will feel like, but am not worrying about specifics yet.

I’m propped in bed, in the Ramadan equivalent of what out-of-shape marathoners call the survival shuffle – the last staggering steps towards the finish line.  Iftar is in half an hour.  Fatima is next to me – she’s strewn a bowl of lima beans on the carpet, and is trying to detect familiar patterns in the chaos – she’s already seen a cat, a whale, and a baby elephant.  A book I was reading recently about sensory stimulation in children said lima beans/butter beans make a soothing smooth clikecty-click sound when poured on themselves, so I got a pack and let her have a go.  Only she soon decided that there are better things in life than hearing the sound of falling lima beans, and found more interesting uses for them.  She’s now pretending they’re giant grains of sand – the kind she digs her hand into in the sand pit we go to near our place.